第 1 季 共 9 集
播出时间:2003年2月10日
第 0 集 Domino Toppling
播出时间:2003年2月10日
Pilot episode<br />
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Vicky Pollard is caught hiding pick 'n' mix sweets inside her trousers at a supermarket. Dafydd comes out to his parents, but his mother's reaction is not quite what he expects.
第 1 集 Bath of Beans
播出时间:2003年9月17日
• Vicky is in trouble with her teacher for not handing in her essay. <br />
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• Sebastian is jealous of the new Treasury aide. <br />
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• Emily Howard goes to a pub.<br />
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• Andy insists Lou takes him to the opera. <br />
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• Children of Kelsey Grammer School take it in turns to read a novel. <br />
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• Gary introduces Jason to his family. <br />
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• The pianist wonders if he's still got the plastic bag he brought with him. <br />
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• Kenny Craig takes a date to a Chinese restaurant. <br />
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• Jeremy Rent has a part for Dennis Waterman in a play of Macbeth. <br />
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• At Fat Fighters the buzz word for the day is 'Cravings'! <br />
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• Ray McCooney is asked how he makes his soup. <br />
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• Lou takes Andy to the swimming pool. <br />
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• Daffyd Thomas' 'only gay' title is challenged by Old Ma Evans' new lodger. <br />
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• Vicky's done her essay. <br />
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• Two Minstrels, listen to anti-minstrel politician. <br />
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• World Record Attempt - Most Beans in a Bath.
第 2 集 Tallest Man
播出时间:2003年9月24日
• Daffyd realises his exclusive copy of the Gay Times has been sold and demands to know who too. <br />
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• Lou is taking Andy out for dinner. Andy wants to go dressed as a Smurf, against Lou's better judgement. <br />
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• Vicky is accused of pushing a young girl into a swimming pool. <br />
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• At Kelsey Grammer school the boys are preparing to take a test. <br />
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• Dr Lawrence is in his office informing an inspector how the Steven Spielberg institute is run. <br />
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• Sebastian walks in while the PM is changing and pounces on him, claiming there's a sniper at the window. <br />
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• Back at the institute Dr Lawrence is showing the inspector how Anne likes to look after the garden. <br />
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• Back at Kelsey Grammer School the test continues while the teacher does a bit of vacuuming. <br />
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• Lou is installing handle bars next to Andy's toilet so he can pull himself onto it when Lou isn't there. <br />
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• Dame Sally Markham finishes 'The Lady in White' but it's only seventy-six pages long. <br />
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• David Soul is asked to visit a sick child in hospital. <br />
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• Marjorie defends Fat Fighters against an 'anonymous' tip off that the whole thing is just a scam. <br />
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• Dr. Lawrence continues his tour in the canteen where Ann is doing her best to ruin their meals. <br />
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• Jason performs the Heimlich manoeuvre on Gary's Nan... or at least we think that's what it was. <br />
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• Back at school, the pupils battle through their test as the teacher sets off three fireworks in the classroom. <br />
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• Clive is hoping his wife Liz will be quiet about her past claim to fame while they're at a restauant. <br />
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• Les McKeown performs some songs for the sick child and her parents. <br />
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• A retired police officer starts teaching driving lessons while still wearing his uniform. <br />
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• The record attempters are attempting the world record for tallest man.
第 3 集 Hard-Boiled Egg Eating
播出时间:2003年10月1日
• Sebastian reviews the PMs bad press after a recent bi-election. <br />
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• Vicky's in a pub trying to buy alcoholic drinks for herself and her mates. <br />
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• Lou's taken Andy to the seaside and is trying to buy him an ice cream. <br />
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• At Kelsey Grammer school a pupil called 'Thorpe' has been moved down a year. <br />
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• Kenny Craig is playing Scrabble with his Mum at the hospital. <br />
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• The two Black-and-White Minstrels are trying to find accomadation. <br />
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• After an informative debate about the fat content of dust, Marjorie introduces the group to her sister Barbara. <br />
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• Back at Kelsey Grammer, there's new addition to the class. from the seventeenth century. <br />
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• The Pianist stops his performance to check the time Sainsbury's supermarket shuts. <br />
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• Daffyd's bored as he believes there's no social activities for gay people. Myfanwy proves him wrong. <br />
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• Lou takes Andy to the video shop. <br />
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• Emily Howard is renting out a room. <br />
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• Sir Bernard Chumley greets an aspiring young actor - Joe. <br />
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• Ray McCooney has a very satisfied customer... well he was. <br />
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• Kelsey Grammer school has another new boy... here boy! Fetch! <br />
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• Dame Sally tries to finish off a book by extending words of quotes by several letters. <br />
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• Denver Mills has been booked to promote Hug-a-Leper week. <br />
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• World Record Attempters attempt to eat the most hard boiled eggs.
第 4 集 Most Cigarettes in a Mouth
播出时间:2003年10月8日
• Daffyd goes to get a hair cut but his usual Hair Dresser is off. <br />
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• Emily Florence is having an X-Ray. <br />
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• Lou is about to take Andy home from the pub, Andy insists that he doesn't need to go to the toilet first. <br />
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• Dr Lawrence shows, Dr Beagrie how Anne fits perfectly into the job of Librarian. <br />
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• Vicky Pollard's in court charged with shoplifting. <br />
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• Matthew Waterhouse has a multitude of ideas for a kiss-a-gram agency. <br />
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• At Kelsey Grammer school, the teacher asks the pupils some hard maths/history questions. <br />
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• Sandra Patterson enters her son Ralph into an audition for a commercial. <br />
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• Back at the library, Anne 'processes' a book.<br />
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• Des Kaye is stopped from selling his videos and attacking a customer with a crocodile puppet. <br />
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• Anne's finished her shift at the library. <br />
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• Royal correspondant Peter Andre is sacked from the BBC. <br />
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• Lou offers Andy a chocolate. <br />
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• At the opera, a man suffers a heart attack. Luckily April and Neville are on hand. <br />
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• Ray has some rather fussy American tourists, who keep asking questions, not a good idea when Ray McCooney's concerned.<br />
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• Miss Grace is shocked that Dame Sally is actually dictating a story that could actually sell. <br />
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• Dennis Waterman seems to have gotten over his 'Write the theme tune, sing the theme tune' stage and actually signs a contract. <br />
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• Liz is pushed out of the lime light by a stranger who claims he went to school with Paul McCartney. <br />
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• The world record attempters are attempting the most cigarettes smoked at once.
第 5 集 Biggest House of Cards
播出时间:2003年10月15日
• Vicky Pollard is summoned to the governess' office for biting Jackie Hayes. <br />
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• Andy insists Lou buys him a snake. <br />
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• The Prime Minister holds a politcal press conference with some unusual people. <br />
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• Marjorie expresses her views on liposuction.<br />
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• Samantha asks Edward how much he loves her... and gets a very detailed answer. <br />
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• At Kelsey Grammer School a young boy has an interview with a new Robot careers advisor. <br />
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• Lou takes Andy to the Library. <br />
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• As things start to look romantic, Edward asks Samantha to draw the curtains... <br />
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• Bernard gets meals on wheels for sister Kitty. <br />
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• Peter Andre tries to sneak into a royal garden party. <br />
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• Kenny Craig sells videos at a car boot sale. <br />
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• Matthew Waterhouse tries to impress a leading theatrical producer <br />
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• Daffyd visits the Llandewi Breffi Sexual Health Clinic. <br />
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• Denver Mills stands in for Fatima Whitbread at a school. <br />
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• Lou takes Andy up many hospital stairs. <br />
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• Eilene is comforting her bereaved sister Janet. <br />
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• At DIY universe, The new boy Kieran unwittingly asks Des Kaye about the Bubble Twins. <br />
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• World Record Attempt for a House of Cards.
第 6 集 Smallest Ant
播出时间:2003年10月22日
• The Prime Minister is having a meeting with the Chancellor of the Exchequer. <br />
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• ITV have want Dennis Waterman to reprise all his roles from Minder. <br />
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• In Darkly Noone, Dr Alban diagnoses Vicky as being eight months pregnant. <br />
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• At the Annual Police Federation Dinner, Denver Mills has been booked to give an after-dinner speech. <br />
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• Lou's taken Andy to the newsagent to pick out a birthday card for his brother Declan. <br />
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• Marjorie bumps into Paul and Meera at the supermarket. <br />
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• Ray's got the TV Repair man in and tries to give the most crpyitcal explanation of what happened. <br />
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• Dr Lawrence has taken Anne home with him. <br />
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• Des Kaye bumps into his former boss Robin Dee and Dicky Bubble. <br />
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• Lou and Andy look at holiday destinations, Andy insists he wants to go to Helsinki. <br />
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• At Kelsey Grammer school, Mr Cleeves reads out some messages. <br />
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• Sandra and Ralph Patterson break into the offices of the Royal Shakespeare company. <br />
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• Back at Dr Lawrence's home Anne has some creative uses for egg and tuna sandwiches. <br />
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• The pianist stops playing when he realises he's forgotten to set his video recorder to tape Room 101. <br />
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• Dame Sally adlibs a plot involving a character reciting the entire Bible. <br />
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• Matthew Waterhouse gatecrashes a board room meeting with a trolley full of ideas for breakfast cereals. <br />
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• It's Maria's funeral, Lou's being as gentle as he can with Andy. <br />
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• In a charity shop a lady is asking the store owners if anyone died in various items of colthing. <br />
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• Dr Lawrence and the children are playing outside and Anne's busy throwing objects out of an upstairs window. <br />
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• Emily Howard's at the seaside having a hard time convincing various people he's a lady. <br />
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• The World Record Attempters exhibit the world's smallest ant.
第 7 集 Largest Mince Pie
播出时间:2003年10月29日
• Vicky Pollard gets a visit from a social worker.<br />
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• At Fat Fighters Marjorie and Paul try to forget the night before.<br />
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• Lou paints Andy's bedroom red.<br />
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• Daffyd's gay night is a success.<br />
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• Sir Bernard's sister kitty is dead, well maybe.<br />
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• New term at Kelsy Grammar school.<br />
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• Ralph Patterson auditions for Bugsy Malone. <br />
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• PM and Sebastian discuss the Party Conference speech.<br />
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• Jason and Gary visit Gary's Nan, there is then toe sucking.<br />
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• World record attempters make largest mince pie.
第 8 集 Most People in a Mini
播出时间:2003年11月5日
• Emily Howard helps to fix an ice cream van. <br />
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• Daffyd discovers Myfanwy's Lesbonic secret.<br />
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• Vicky Pollard gives a speech to her ex-school mates.<br />
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• Lou and Andy have a bonfire.<br />
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• Boris babysits.<br />
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• Kelsey Grammer School have a crips exam.<br />
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• At Ye Olde Hotel Ray's tax payments are overdue.<br />
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• Dame Sally gets to Miss Grace type the Radio.<br />
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• At Fat Fighters, Mrs Harrison from Head Office attends and Marjorie is sacked.<br />
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• Concert pianist stops to read a text message.<br />
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• Michael meets the Italian Prime Minister. <br />
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• World Record Attempters go for Most people in a Mini.